


Long wait

by clandestinpoet



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Introspection, Sad, lexa wating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:21:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26005603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clandestinpoet/pseuds/clandestinpoet
Summary: Lexa waiting for Clarke in the flame...
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 3
Kudos: 43





	Long wait

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this inspired by a fanart of Lexa waiting for Clarke in the flame beside the door with the raven drawing:
> 
> https://www.instagram.com/p/BtwPBEBFsIg/?igshid=1rdw275wgd9sc (I know the raven isn't in the picture, but it is in my mind haha)
> 
> sorry in advance for any mistake, english is not my first language

Suddenly the fight was over. All the people she has been fighting just vanished. 

She stumble with her last move of her sword when it makes contact with only air, the man in front of her simply wasn’t there anymore. No one was there anymore. Not even the ones that were lying in the ground after she killed them. 

Lexa spins slowly, making sure it was really over. 

Clarke did it again. She saved us all. 

Lexa knew the flame would choose wisely. There was not better choice, although she wonders what happened to Aden and the rest of the nightbloods… and since when was Clarke a nightblood…

She was sure some time passed, it was different in the flame, in this space were time didn’t seem to pass… well, it didn’t pass, she wasn’t going to get older, but still her mind worked the idea of time, meaning she is still conscious of time passing. 

But what felt like a few days, must have been more in the real world. Clarke’s wound in her forehead was totally healed. She even passed her fingers over the skin to make sure her sky girl was actually fine. 

Lexa was so scared when Clarke fainted in her arms… she thought she would never see her again, and suddenly she was there, and Lexa somehow knew she needed her help. And only moments after she saw her, she was about to lose her again…

But Clarke was strong. So strong. 

And now she was the commander, and not only she saved the people in the real world, she even saved the flame from the threat that was taken over almost every space. 

Lexa makes her way back to the door where she left Clarke. And waited.  
And waited.

It was sure that Clarke won her battle, so Lexa was waiting for her to get out of there so she could finally talk to her. She didn’t have the time when she was alive, but now… now not only she could talk to her and have all the time in the world, now they could lead together. Not like she have imagined only moments before her death, but together after all….

The most she thinks about it, the more real times seems to get… And Clarke still didn’t get out of there.  
But she would wait forever if she has to. 

After what seemed like days, Lexa starts to worry… the flame was fine, she could feel it, which means Clarke did well. Lexa have reasoned that Clarke must have get out of the meditating stated that allows her be here to go and continued fixing and leading in the world Lexa didn’t belong anymore. But still she couldn't will herself to leave this place.

Some of the others commanders that were here had come to her, to tell her that what she was doing makes no sense, that she should have listened to them and that love was weakness… she didn’t care. This place was the last place where she saw Clarke, and even if this waiting seems ridicule to her too, she wouldn't give up.

Clarke would come again. She loves her, she told her so herself. And Lexa thought that telling her that she always would be with her was better at the time, because it was true, and it also has the “I love you” implicated, right? Why else would she stay with her forever? And it was also the only way Lexa saw to tell Clarke her feelings and at the same time try and give her courage to do what she had to do, to tell her she wasn’t alone. Never again. Because Lexa was going to be with her not matter what. 

And Lexa also thought that she would get another chance to tell Clarke she loves her too… when she enters the flame again. She just has to wait. Patience is a virtue…

Time passes… and passes… Becca Pramheda, that almost never come out to talk to the other commanders, came to tell her that no one was bearing the flame right now, so she could stop her hopeless waiting.

Why would Clarke take the flame out of her? Or someone else took it from her? Knowing Clarke, she would not let anyone do that, so she must have agreed to it… Lexa knows at least that Clarke didn’t die with the flame, other way she would be here with her. But that didn’t mean she didn’t die after taking the flame out. 

That thought disturbed Lexa more than she would like to admit. Because that means the hope that was born the moment she saw her in those stairs have to die, the hope that one day they would have their forever together, they would have the time to be themselves outside of the leaderships that weighed on her lives…

Lexa was jumping from one thought to the other. What could have happened for Clarke not to be here? To take the flame out?

And something was slowly making space in Lexa’s mind: what if Clarke took the flame of so she wouldn’t have to see Lexa again? Even as painful has it was, Lexa would have understood. Losing one another was bad enough; losing one another twice was almost unbearable. So Lexa understood that came back into the flame could have been too painful to Clarke, the leader that walks with her heart at her sleeves. 

She just wished Clarke would have had the courage to come to see her one more time. At least to say a goodbye that wasn’t rushed. A proper goodbye, where she could have the chance to tell her exactly how she feels and how important Clarke was and is in her two existence: in the real world and in here. A proper goodbye where she could be able to try and ease the pain she saw in Clarke the two times a forced goodbye was ensured. A proper goodbye where she could tell her how much she loves her, and how proud she is of her, and most important, to tell her that she should go on with her life the way she try to taught her and Lexa was too stubborn to understand until it was too late: she needs to live and not just survive. All Lexa want is that Clarke could have a happy life, could live the fullest life possible, maybe find someone who could offer her the life Lexa couldn’t, someone who doesn’t carry the weight of leadership, someone that didn’t have to put their people before her love like Lexa was taught to do… Lexa wants Clarke to have the best life possible; even if that means that she couldn’t see her anymore. Lexa can do that sacrifice. Lexa could do any sacrifice necessary for Clarke. 

The time pass and Clarke never came back. But Lexa keeps waiting. In reality she doesn’t have anything better to do, and that’s what she told to any of the commanders that came to her. There was literally nothing to do here, no without anyone bearing the flame. 

So Lexa spends her time meditating beside the door that took her love away. She even cried, but she still doesn’t like to admit that. She cried for her love, for all the feelings that only now she let herself feel, for all the pain and tears she never let herself pour out… she cried for the life she wished to have but never let herself dream of, and for the life she dreamed to have with Clarke, but lost at the hands of one of her most trusted people. She cried for the time she doesn’t have in this timeless place, ironically. And most of all, she cried every time she let herself fall in the thought that she never would see Clarke again…

It’s weird meditating without being the commander, she have nobody to seek comfort or advice from. And she actually didn’t want the advice from all those commanders that didn’t actually lived life. Lexa knows that she is in the right, and Clarke was the living proof of that: life if more than just surviving. And with a little smile on her lips, Lexa remembers time after time those moments before her death where she actually lived, those moments of pure happiness she shared with her love…

Eventually time blurs itself. The other commanders were agitated at first, don’t knowing what to do (never have passed so much time without anyone bearing the flame). But eventually they have resigned themselves to wait, Lexa was left alone for the most part, no one understood her or why she was still waiting there. 

Lexa doesn’t knows how much time has passed, has no way of knowing, but suddenly the flame activated again. There is a rush of energy that washed over her and she knows that the current commander enter again. 

It’s not hard for her to will herself to appear in the place where the visitor is. But when she gets there her heart crushes. 

She is not there. 

Dread fills her. A cold fear grips her heart and squeezes it. There is only one way that a new commander would raise. Her chest hurts. She’s not here…

A girl with brown hair and deep and scared eyes is where Lexa was hoping for her love to appear… the girl looks at her and hesitantly smiles. Lexa knows she should greet the new commander, but she has only one thought in her mind and needs answers before the rest of the commanders appear.

\- Where is Clarke?

**Author's Note:**

> hope you like it even if it's sad... sorry about that  
> and sorry for the abrupt ending, now you can imagine the rest xD
> 
> also, anyone knows if there is a fic about Clarke putting the flame in herself in the time she was alone on earth? so that way she could talk to Lexa and even get to raise Madi together (kind of)...  
> I think that would be nice and sad at the same time, but I would like to read it...


End file.
